Don’t worry. If I were here to kill you, you would already be dead. After you left today, I realized that our friendship was a little one-sided.

Before I was the Thumbprint Killer, Mr. Smith, I killed a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

You always want to invest in things people can’t do without. Water and cemeteries… pretty safe bets.

I don’t enjoy killing, Mr. Smith. I do it because I’m addicted to it.

You are such a f*****g hypocrite. If you were being honest, you would say, “Hi, my name is Earl, and I killed two people last night.”