You know what, I used to love coming here. But now this just reminds me of everything that I’ve lost.

Life only really has one beginning and one end, and the rest is just a whole lot of middle.

I realize my cultural ascendance only serves to illuminate your own banality. But face it, I’m legend. It’s happened.

I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse and then shot it.

My body is like a rum chocolate soufflé. If I don’t warm it up right, it doesn’t rise.